Who will truly ever understand the mysteries of life, will the servive long enough to pass the words on off the thier terrified lips? I was really and truly hurt last night and I lashed out with my emotions which I shouldn't have done...and you're right there is nothing to back up why you should believe me, except for blind trust, which is what I've been doing...I really feel bad for the things I said bc I know they aren't true and I only said them to make you feel bad for letting him stay over last night bc I was jealous that you'd rather cuddle next to him than me....it won't happen again. I will change...I was hurt last night...you've been home two nights now and already he's spending the night that bothers me, and it should bother you like you said....idk what to think anymore....you say you love me and want me to wait and stuff and then that happens and I'm just confused..I'm gonna get help and I'm gonna get better, I had a bad night and I'm sorry...it won't happen again. Next time he spends the night I will behave myself or go crash at someone else's place.Yes you know that? And Evan that's not it, it's not that I don't want this to work, it's that I want to do this but I'm scared you hate me for it, I'm scared you don't want this and I feel like you think me wanting this means I don't want you and that's not it, it's not that I want distance. I want you to wait for me when I go but I feel like if I go it's just going to make us worse and that's not what I'm trying to do.