deez nuts

deez nuts

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Sample essays
Sample Essay 1

Ideas and Analysis: Score = 1
Development and Support: Score = 1
Organization: Score = 1
Language Use and Conventions: Score = 1


Well Machines are good but they take people jobs like if they don’t know how to use it they get fired and they’ll find someone else and it’s more easyer with machines but sometimes they don’t need people because of this machines do there own job and there be many people that lack on there job but the intelligent machines sometimes may not work or they’ll brake easy and it’s waste of money on this machines and there really expensive to buy but they help alot at the same time it help alot but at the same time this intelligent machines work and some don’t work but many store buy them and end up broken or not working but many stores gets them and end up wasting money on this intelligent machines’ but how does it help us and the comunity because some people get fired because they do not need him because of this machines many people are losing job’s because of this machines.

Scoring Explanation
Ideas and Analysis = 1
The absence of a thesis (an idea that the argument as a whole works to explore/explain/support) has a significant impact on the quality of this response. Without one, the writer’s intentions are difficult to discern. While the writer does generate a few ideas, he does not do so in service of an argumentative purpose. For example, the notion that people’s jobs are lost as a result of new technologies could be productive, but without a connection to a larger argument, this attempt at analysis accomplishes very little.

Development and Support = 1
There are few attempts to develop the ideas in this response. Rather, the essay consists largely of repeated points and unsupported claims. Many of the problems in this essay can be attributed to its poor...

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