Directions: Indicate what is wrong with each thesis statement and then rewrite it so that it would be correct for this class. If you need to add information (do research) to create main points you should. Remember…a thesis is one declarative sentence that indicates what your topic is and what your main points are. If you need to focus the thesis statement more feel free to take the topic in whatever direction you would like. You can just type your answers into this sheet.
Example:
Living on campus.
My Answer: This is not a complete, declarative statement. It also does not preview the main points. Thesis statements should be complete sentences that indicate what the topic is and preview the main points.
A better thesis: First –year students should be required to live on campus because it is more economical and it would aid their social development more than living off-campus.
Now I have a persuasive thesis that states the topic and clearly outlines the two main points: economics and social development.
Here are the thesis statements you are to evaluate and rewrite:
1. Today I will talk about the health benefits of a gluten free diet and the mental benefits of meditation.
This is a not a complete thesis because it mentions the main points but is not a declarative statement.
A better thesis: Gluten free diet and meditation are extremely essential for daily life because they provide various health and mental benefits.
2. A vegetarian diet means eating no animal products.
This thesis does declare something but it does mention any main points and also the topic, thus it is an incomplete thesis
A better thesis: A vegetarian diet does not consist of any animal products because vegetables have equally good nutrients and are better for health.
3. To explain the benefits of a vegan diet.
This thesis is incomplete in all aspects because it does not declare anything and does not mention the main points.
A better statement: People should give up...