English Monologue – The Crucible, Abigail.
Well tomorrow is the day, the man I would kill for is getting’ hung… and it’s my entire fault, I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut.
Oh god, I can’t believe all this has happened… I lied, yes, but to get the man I love to realize he loves me also. I didn’t mean for it to escalate so much.
I feel so guilty, but at the same time I don’t really care.
I have been thinkin’ about turnin’ myself in and confessin’ it was all a lie, but my pride and Parris’ pride is far to great to bring down for those people.
I know I’m more important than any of those people.
Especially John Proctor, although he meant the world to me, feelin’s (feelings) weren’t mutual, he deserved it.
How dare he come on to me and use me because he was lonely and having relationship problems with Elizabeth. And then to have the guts to call me a whore in court, in front of all those people. Sorry John but I’m nobody’s second option. I had every right to destroy his marriage. I don’t care what anybody else thinks.
Some may think I’m self-centered, maybe I am, but if you where in my shoes I’m sure you would all do the same thing. Of course I feel absolutely awful, leavin’ those two boys without a father. But John was no one to look up to as a role model anyway, he broke my heart.
Besides, I was scared after that little game in the forest with Tituba. I had to make up lies about witchcraft to look out for myself.
But now people have died and are about to die because of me. Everyone is going insane. How could I do such a thing? How can I just sit here and watch everyone I know suffer… and just stay quiet about everythin’? Am I a bad person?
No Abigail, stop! You had to do this.
This is all John’s fault, not mine.
Oh my, the grief, the grief I’ll have on my shoulders everyday after John is dead. I am the reason he is being hung tomorrow.
How can I possibly manage to survive without seein’ that handsome face of his again?
Although he has...