My thoughts how I feel if I step in some where there is drinking. Am I setting my self up? Do I dare to try and be numb? The only way I ever knew how to be numb was to use. Am I getting my subconscious mixed with my consciousness. I know I can only fake it that it doesnt bother me but the more I sit there and pretend I am headed for a slip. I can not just sit there and keep daydreaming about the good time cuz there was a lot of bad times that followed
as with the last statement, how well is my mind really prepared? I have the wantingness and most tools but I have reliezed I am not cured I never will be every day is like a day of school.. I learn some thing new every day and because of my past I have learned not to repeat.
Having respect for others and your self is a big thing. I never really did I never cared who I hurt as long as I got what I want. I didnt care who hurt me as long as I was getting my fix. Now its completely the other way I make sure I show respect for anyone who crosses my past even if its some one I do not care for I still show respect. My children see how important it is by watching me and that is one thing I want my kids to do like mommy does.
I took me a long time to understand the higher power stuff. And cuz I went to treatment with my white flag in hand I have found and understand what it means now. I dont understand all but that gives me more to look forward to for my sober life.
We talked about group therapy how it works in so many different ways for every person. Its not a punishment or for others to judge you. It really makes a differense hearing other people speak of there experiances and to finally relieze the world isnt out to get you.
We spoke today about the daily reading and how praying to our higher power is a big , HUGE part of our/my sobriety. It really is a big difference when you finally find the right path to go down to achieve a better life. It really...