We all know that sometimes it is hard to listen. For whatever reason, we may be tired or anxious about our own input into the conversation, and we become ineffective listeners. When communicating, I have noticed that I have some weaknesses in my listening techniques. When getting a talking to by my parents, often my mother, I have a problem with pseudo listening, I pretend that I care what she has to say when I really have other things on my mind, and I become a very defensive listener, treating everything she says as a personal attack. Now that I can put a name to my actions, I can better correct my poor listening habits.
Listening makes communication successful. Failing to listen is the easiest way to lead to miscommunication, if you don’t know what was said, how can you correctly interpret it? Pseudo listening means to pretending to listen. This is the most ineffective way to communicate because after the conversation you will not have gotten any information from what was said proving pseudo listening to be very ineffective way to communicate. Pseudo listening occurs when the listener is preoccupied in thought, or just truly does not want to be there in the conversation. When I pseudo listen, it is usually because I really don’t want to listen to what is being said.
Others pseudo listen for many reasons. When they want someone to like them, they can pretend to be interested, or be interested in hearing one thing only and not anything else. You can also get caught in a conversation you do not want to be in, and you don’t know how to get out of the conversation. Either way, pseudo listening is not effective communication for anyone involved.
Another problem that I have when listening is I am a very defensive listener. When speaking to my mom, I turn her simple constructive criticisms into a personal attack on my total character. I think it is because I am very concerned with the way she thinks of me, and making her happy....